By Oki Samson
It was a low key celebration at home, no thanks to COVID-19, for the family of legal bigwig, Barr. Monday Ubani over the weekend as they celebrated the 25th anniversary of their wedding. With songs, dance, joy, and prayers from fathers of faith, the Ubanis rededicated their wedding to the glory of God and the blessing of humanity. The lovebirds took turns to share their experiences, expectations, love, and thoughts about the state of marriage, and family in this era with Oki Samson of Trek Africa Newspaper.
On how the journey started, Barr. Monday noted that he married his loving wife in 1996. ‘In 1997, God gave us our first child in the person of Obinna who is now a qualified lawyer. The following year, this same God gave us another boy, Chidindu who by the grace of God is a qualified engineer doing his youth service. And then the third child, a girl who is currently in university and the last born who is my replica, his name is Ebube is in the secondary school.’
With an heart full of praise to God, Barr. Ubani noted how God is faithful to his family. ‘It’s been God all the way. I am very grateful to God’.
On his wife, the human rights lawyer poured encomium, ‘my wife believe so much in God, my wife loves God, she is a virtuous woman, a woman who respects the husband and shows wisdom in matrimony. She is a woman who takes care of my children, a woman who makes good food,
I like good food and she knows how to make it. God has used her in many ways to bless my marriage. When you have a peaceful home you will be able to give your best in society. It’s been God all the way and I return all the praises to Him as the beginning and end of my life.’
Mrs. Ubani also shared her experience on the 25th anniversary, ‘It’s been an interesting journey. Marriage is about understanding and tolerance. I am used to being a lawyer and I understand the challenges that come with being a lawyer. I told myself something very early and that is ‘my marriage must work’ irrespective of whatever comes my way. The kind of job he does makes him out of the house so I have to ensure that the home is in place and that the family, inlaws, and everyone is been taken care of. I made up my mind that I will make the home comfort for him. When there is wolf outside, there is succour at home.’
On the challenge facing the marriage institution in the world today, Mrs. Ubani remarked: ‘one of the challenges of this period is the tag of feminism. A man is the head of the family. If you must enjoy your family, place your husband as the head and respect him, the house will be a beautiful place. Even if you earn more than your husband, you must still respect and love him. As the wife, you bring favour to the man as the Bible says, you are not equal to the man. This is what this generation is failing to understand.’
‘I will advise our ladies, take a chill pill. You are not in competition with anybody. When a man loves, he loves totally unlike us, ladies. When a man loves, he protects and shields you. Every reasonable man provides for his family. A woman must know her place in marriage.
Have good rapport with your inlaws. In Africa, you love your husband, you love your inlaws. Everyone around your husband must be loved. In my house, everyone, driver, cleaner, everyone eats what we eat. We eats from the same pot.
The only child of his parents both alive in Abia state, Barr. Monday Ubani shared his expectations for the future, ‘I want to live to be 100 years with my wife, children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren with me and most importantly, that we all make heaven.’
‘The Ultimate Person in my home is God. I know I will account one day to Him. So when I go out, whether my wife is there or not, I know I must not bring shame to my home. I am not saying we are perfect but we must be careful about issues that can break the home.’